Law and order- The police will be equipped with Apache attack helicopters rather than those crappy things they currently have. Rather than following stolen cars for 4 hours they will just wait until the miscreant is reasonably clear of bystanders and blast him to pieces.
- Judges who give out bizarre sentences will be made to serve the sentence I deem suitable, in place of the criminal.
A number of new criminal offences will be created incuding:
- Wittering into your mobile when you should be paying for your shopping;
- Footballers diving during matches;
- The inappropriate use of childern’s toys by adults (this will mainly centre on prison terms for anyone over the age of 15 riding a BMX or skateboard);
- Towing caravans except between the hours of 2am and 4am on Wednesdays
- Supporting football teams with which you live nowhere near and have no connection with whatsoever. And yes, Dave from Essex, that does mean you.
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